Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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