Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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(407): View more from Florida

I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises

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(770): View more from Georgia

his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."

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(507): View more from Minnesota

he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.

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(516): View more from New York

So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence

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(276): View more from Virginia

I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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(775): View more from Nevada

maybe i should limp back to therapy...

(1-775): View more from Nevada

oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof

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