Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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