She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My bed smells like the plague
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