he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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