Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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