U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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