the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
