i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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