I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
