Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
