The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
