***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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