I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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