I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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