guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
