It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
