I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
