escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
