he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
