Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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