Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
