Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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