it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
