A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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