Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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