um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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