Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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