Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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