before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
