I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
