I just saw a hot homeless man
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think i have herpe
just one?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
