May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
