But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
