What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
