Non-Jews are for practice
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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