I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
