did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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