YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
