I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
