They should really pass out barf bags in church
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
