coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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