I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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