maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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