I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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