I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say