Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
