apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize