Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
