dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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