I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
