i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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