only if we run a train.
done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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