Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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