I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize