Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
