Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
