her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
