Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize