who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this will be a night to untag.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
