i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
