It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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