Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
