You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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