I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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