dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
