yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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